Thousands of adoptive parents and waiting Russian children will be affected by a decision which was made by a Tennessee woman to send her adoptive son back to Russia. http://bit.ly/bbaVuH

The boy's adoptive family in the United States put him on a plane to Moscow. He traveled alone, carrying a note from his adoptive mother. The adoptive family had paid a Russian man to meet him at the Moscow airport and take him to the Russian Ministry.

The boy's adoptive mother claims that she was misled because his severe psychological problems were hidden from her. She claims that she is doing this for the safety of herself, her family, and her friends.

Russian authorities are furious. The boy is a Russian citizen (he is probably a U.S. citizen as well, although the article does not mention this).

So, what can an adoptive parent (or any parent) do if they have serious safety concerns and are completely unable to deal with a troubled child?

First of all, some agencies do provide continuing assistance (or are willing to reopen the case to assist an adoptive parent with such issues). Counseling may be provided. In some cases, the agency may be able to place the child with another family who has the ability to deal with the child's particular issues, although this can take a while.

Other agencies may also offer help. Depending on the issue, the family's income level, and the state/county where the family lives, there may even be additional help available at no cost or a reduced cost.

The child may need medical help, in addition to psychological counseling. Many children who have been given up for adoption come from economically deprived areas or situations. The child may have been deprived of proper nutrition while in the womb, and after birth. In addition, the child may not have been given proper touch and nurturing. This lack of nurturing can interfere with development of the nervous system and can create a variety of physical and psychological problems. For this reason, a holistic approach that combines prescription medication, nutrition, and behavioral modification with counseling may be necessary. There are specialists who treat these issues. Texas Children's Hospital in Houston is an excellent resource for treatment, information, and support groups. There are other facilities both in and outside the state of Texas that treat for these issues as well.

Abandoning a child is illegal and can result in criminal prosecution in the State of Texas, no matter what the reasons for doing so. As the Russian case shows, abandonment of a child in a foreign adoption case can trigger serious repercussions, affecting international relations and the future of thousands of other waiting children and potential adoptive parents.

Serious, severe problems between parents and children sometimes occur, whether the child is a biological child or adopted child. How the adults choose to deal with the situation is what makes the difference. The adults must seek help as soon as possible from medical and/or legal professionals. When legal help is sought, adoption attorneys must do their best to listen non-judgmentally, and then present a variety of well-researched options based upon each individual situation. It is never acceptable to abandon a child, and there are always other options. They may not be "easy" options, but they do exist.