Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person.  Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence. (www.helpguide.org)

 Control over another person can be in the form of physical abuse, or it may be emotional.  Control can also be financial, especially when one partner deprives the other partner of basic necessities.  Financial abuse can also occur when one partner keeps all of the family finances a secret, or takes complete control of everything and makes all decisions.

 Men who are victims of abuse, especially physical abuse, may have difficulty admitting it and asking for help.  Abused men need and deserve help.  In fact, men can be particularly vulnerable to abuse because of the stereotypes that exist.  A man in need of help may feel ashamed and vulnerable if he tries to report the abuse to law enforcement or a help center.

 Abuse happens in all economic classes and communities. 

 When one partner is vulnerable due to low self-esteem, a physical or mental disability or handicap, illegal immigration status, or lack the ability to earn his/her own money, an abuser will use that to terrify, frighten and intimidate.

 If you, or someone you know is a victim of abuse, you should be aware of the following:

 

  1. There are shelters and community resources available
  2. You can seek legal help from a private attorney or a non-profit group
  3. Documenting physical abuse by calling the police, taking photos, and seeking medical or psychological care can help prove your case
  4. You can seek legal help to plan ahead, even if you are not ready to take action yet
  5. You should know about safe places that you can go
  6. You can seek a protective order from a court, when appropriate. However, you still must look out for the safety of yourself and your children
  7. If you are an immigrant who is married to a U.S. citizen and have been subjected to battery or extreme cruelty, you may be able to benefit from VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) and apply for residency
  8. Staying "for the sake of the kids" is risky, and your children are at psychological risk, not just physical risk
  9. No one deserves to be abused, ever